On Discovery

not alone

this portal broke

drain even

drain odd

drain policy

festering eagle Eyed

stress.

I hear words in the white noise

too distant to obey

words in the tiles, on the flooring,

words in the stars,

words humming behind

the sounds

of the dishwasher

and these words

are lost, are

seeking homes,

ears,

hearts,

theaters.

yesterday, grimace

perplexed and then onward

she shelters seers

in her waters

then move warding passages

and get those meanings

thrust sainted moorings

across liminal spaces

between these winded passages

glands swollen

there are things left to do

moments not set to order

springs cocked, seeds watered,

mulch set to rights

laws motioned forward

sowing, I one yes away

from moving forward,

being undone

and forgotten

wall sheen, broken window glance

shattered, miscreant, a poke from the watcher,

I am straddled by cats

and gracious, like smiles, smoke

I have my minions,

they lurk, corners of wood floored rooms,

glance furtively

move to shadows

and in the words blue, gold

she was older, held over,

cornered by the moment,

honest,

broken, I grimace

conquest–this offset.

being right about a moment

a hunch

leaves paths trod down familial trees

echo, ghosted

a haunting

that gaslight memory from another time

yes.

of course.

I am broken by time, shattered crystal soul left battered and sold the won like jewels, shards glistening wound display victed, victor, victemy, solace gross betwixt and between

you console it

me

I am dream

to be sacrificed, blue tone sifted, glean

skin fixed, I am whole

and faint, shimmering by the wayside, complicated

and able, though shattered

there is no safe space to sob

these motherfuckers will eat you

there is no safe space to sob

these motherfuckers will eat you

I am over,

the end of am

death to because

cancel the accounts

of duties, frauds

consorts, broken styles

I am, now the lost

breath of fire, downward dog, be ye all damned

back-masked, inverted

the walls we are

endure beyoundgrounds

for censures.

I am done;

my life is begun

and beyond that, the sun to which I sink.

Published by

Jeffrey Wes Unruh

Adoptee, born at the Magic Valley Regional Medical Center, April 15, 1974. I spent 23 years trying to figure out all the details, concluding my search in 2019 after meeting my biological father. I'm working on a book that encapsulates my thoughts on adoption in general, and the experience of being adopted.